Supporting Students During Examinations: Three Things Parents Can Do

Over the coming weeks, our senior students will receive feedback on their preliminaries and begin preparing for their final examinations. For some, this is an exciting chance to build on success. For others, it may bring disappointment, uncertainty or extra pressure.

At St Andrew’s, we use the PERMA-V framework to help students understand what contributes to well-being: Positive Emotion, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, Accomplishment and Vitality. Exam success matters, but so do the habits, relationships and skills that help young people meet challenges in healthy, sustainable ways. Here are three things parents can do to help.

1. Normalise stress

Many students take stress as proof that they aren’t coping. In reality, feeling nervous before an exam usually means something matters to them.

Well-meant advice like “don’t worry” or “just relax” can make young people feel their emotions are a problem to be fixed. Simple acknowledgement often helps more:

“It makes sense you’re feeling pressure. A lot of people feel this way before something important"

"You can be stressed and still cope.”

"It shows you care, and that is a good thing"

The same applies when results are disappointing. Before talking about what to do differently, start with how they are feeling. The plan can wait until they feel heard.

Feeling stressed and performing well can go together. Many students discover they can feel nervous and still do difficult things. That is a lesson worth far more than any single exam.

When students learn they can cope with pressure, recover from setbacks, and keep moving forward, they develop strengths that will serve them long after the exam results are forgotten.

2. Focus on the next small step

One of the biggest challenges at this time of year is overwhelm. Students can become consumed by everything they need to do, every assessment still to come and every possible outcome. When this happens, help them narrow their focus:

• What’s the most important thing to do next?

• What can you finish in the next 30 minutes?

• What’s within your control today?

Focus also needs protecting. Phones and notifications break concentration far more than most students realise, and even a quick check makes it harder to get back into the work. Encourage study time with the phone in another room, and paper-based revision where it suits the subject. The Pomodoro Technique is a focus strategy that all students at St Andrew's should use to support their focus and attention.

The feedback students receive after preliminaries is a valuable step in the learning process. Help them treat it as information rather than judgement. What is it telling them? What is one adjustment they could make?

Small actions create momentum. Momentum builds confidence and progress.

3. Protect the Foundations

During busy periods, students often feel that every spare minute should be spent studying. Unfortunately, the habits that support learning are usually the first to go. Sleep gets cut short. Exercise becomes optional. Time with friends feels unproductive.

Yet these are the things that help students think clearly, manage their emotions and recover from setbacks. In PERMA-V terms, they are the Vitality and Relationships that sustain everything else. Encourage your child to:

• Prioritise sleep

• Move regularly

• Take genuine breaks

• Stay connected to supportive people

• Keep doing things they enjoy

These aren’t rewards for working hard. They are what make hard work possible.

Our own calm matters too. Young people take their cues from the adults around them. A settled home, and conversations that aren’t always about exams, can help more than any revision timetable.

If your child doesn’t seem to care

Not every student approaches exams feeling stressed. Some seem unmotivated or indifferent, which can be just as worrying for parents.

“I don’t care” is often a way of protecting themselves. If a student expects to do badly, or feels too far behind, not trying can feel safer than trying and falling short. Others can’t see how exams connect to what they want from life.

Pressure rarely helps, but curiosity often does. Ask what they’re hoping for after school, and what feels hardest right now, then listen without rushing to fix it. Where you can, connect study to their goals rather than yours. One completed task, however small, can turn “what’s the point?” into “maybe I can do this.”

The goal is not for students to be stressed about exams. The goal is for students to engage with worthwhile challenges. Whether they feel calm, nervous, excited, or uncertain, the key question is whether they are learning persistence, responsibility, effort, and self-belief through the process.

A final thought about character and well-being

At St Andrew’s, we describe well-being as feeling good, functioning well and doing good. Exam season is a useful reminder that well-being isn’t about avoiding pressure. It is about learning to respond well when life becomes demanding.

As students review feedback, set goals and prepare for their exams, they are doing more than revising content. They are practising resilience, perseverance, self-management and perspective. These qualities will serve them not only in exams, but throughout their lives.